None of us gets out of this alive, sweetheart.

Over our usual morning coffee and chatter, Jeri and I struck up a candid conversation. It was perhaps amusing if not for the fact that the subject matter was a bit dark. We were talking about old age, growing old and dying. I asked if she was afraid of dying. She looked straight at me with those beautiful, smiling eyes and said, “None of us gets out of this alive, sweetheart.” Then she said matter-of-factly, “Someone once said, it is pointless to fear the inevitable.” Of course, I had to ask, “Who said that?” Jeri took a sip of her coffee, grinned and replied, “Someone who wasn’t dying.” I retorted, “Smart Ass!” and laughed, but inside I had an uneasy feeling…

Early Sunday morning, September 29, 2013, she made the plunge and swam to the other shore. With courage, grace and dignity, she found her peace. We think we control our lives, but it is just self deception. I reached out to Jeri with all my strength, but she slipped away anyway. I blamed myself and when that wore out, I blamed God. The truth is, she was just exhausted and could no longer fight, or was no longer willing to fight. No one was to blame, not even God. Now when my body is no longer my friend, yet my mind is clear, I have begun to think about those that I love. It is unknown to me the hour of my own passing and I fear the worst. Not of death, but rather having lived, and not made the most of my life. For I have learned there are things that gnaw on a man worse than dying. It is a time that I am reminded of my own mortality and if there will be anyone who will pause and take a few moments to think about what my life has meant to him or her when my name appears in that final short paragraph in a newspaper.

Go read the book, Tattooed Heart; A Little Piece of Heaven. Jeri will tattoo your heart, too.